1 Peter 3-5 | How To Have A Great Marriage and Family

The greatest commandment Christ gave was to love the Lord with everything and your neighbor as yourself. In marriage (and in your whole family), your mate is your nearest neighbor. How should you love them? Peter sums this up in 1 Peter 3:8-12.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

THE RESPONSIBILITY IN OUR HOME

The single greatest problem in the home is that we don’t take personal responsibility. We constantly blame others.

Notice to whom this is addressed: "all of you.” So, whose job is it? It’s always yours! Also, it’s the path for whoever wants to have an enjoyable, loving, good life! "The one who desires life, to love and see good days." It's not "if she/he would do this." This is about you! If you want a great life in your home, it starts with you, even if you are receiving insults and evil!

THE ATTITUDE WE ARE TO HAVE TOWARD ONE ANOTHER

Study these words carefully for there are the keys to a great home. These are made possible only by relying on the Spirit of God who lives within you as a believer. We must be …

Harmonious
Sympathetic
Brotherly
Kindhearted
Humble in spirit
God's face. "The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous … the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
God's communion. "His ears are attentive to (the righteous mate’s) cry.”
A godly marriage. This man or woman will “love well and see good days!”

Read those again slowly and prayerfully, asking God to make this the testimony of your life and your marriage.

THE ACTION WE ARE TO HAVE TOWARD ONE ANOTHER

Peter covers it all by telling us how we should REACT in every situation and how we can be PROACTIVE in every situation.

REACTIVE: “Not returning an evil for evil or insult for insult”

Each mate will often receive harsh words or wrong actions from their mate. We're all sinful. But we must “keep our tongues from speaking evil and deceit.” We must “turn away from evil and do good.” Every conflict will present you the temptation to return an insult with an insult, but you must distance yourself from such a self-centered, evil response.

PROACTIVE: “but giving a blessing instead”

Your mate needs a blessing. Instead of seeking to get your own way, or prove you are right, think Biblically: “How can I bless my mate right now? What could I do or say that would bless and help them?” And then we must “do good,” i.e., be willing to be the hands and feet and sacrificial servant of your blessing.

We must “seek peace and pursue it.” Go hard after it, work on it. This would include granting forgiveness, clearing your conscience, being the first one to the cross about your sin.

Why should we choose such responses in our home? Without this gracious response you will lose the following:

To live in an insulting, evil marriage is not enjoyable and a poor testimony for the believer. But you can resolve, regardless of your mate’s responses, to be the source of blessing and peace in your home. And you might be surprised at the blessings that begin to return to you as you live to bless your mate.

Father, help us realize that marriage is not just about our happiness but our holiness. Give us the wisdom to let Your Spirit’s love flow from the inside out to our mate and our children. Make us constantly aware of this passage and we pray that the blessings of God would begin to rest upon our homes for Your glory.